This feeling is…
Light,
Uplifting,
Sunny,
Calming,
Amazing,
Mind-blowing,
Luscious,
Delicious,
Wonderful,
Sensual,
Scary,
And I don’t want to ever let it go.
What is this feeling?
I think this feeling is Love.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
tainted feeling
The desperation in her voice was of something I have never heard, at least from her. She always sounded as she was speaking to a robot, without feeling for me or for what she said to me. But tonight was different; at least that's what I always tell myself. Her voice can be so heavenly as if the gods made it for the pleasure to only hear it and nothing else. Then it could be a torment and teasing way of my senses.
I am shattered by the night and I wish that I could hide, but here I am on my way to her home. I am out of my mind to be on the dark road on my way to her house, but somehow this feels right. My desperation to see her increases with every rock I past on this dirt road.
The few minutes I have waited is time she has stolen from me and I cannot get it back nor can I turn around and say “Farwell!”
I am waiting for you tonight and you are late. Finally she comes. The soft spoken words combined with the excitement of escaping is so enveloping that I want to seal this moment forever. But, however, I cannot control time of you. You are the person who makes me the one who I wish not to be. I am weak, fragile to every word you spool together, and confused of your actions that have me captivated. Don’t waste my time, for I have yet to leave, but continue to be brainwashed. Yes you are the only person who could and does do this to me and I hate you for your special power against me.
I am shattered by the night and I wish that I could hide, but here I am on my way to her home. I am out of my mind to be on the dark road on my way to her house, but somehow this feels right. My desperation to see her increases with every rock I past on this dirt road.
The few minutes I have waited is time she has stolen from me and I cannot get it back nor can I turn around and say “Farwell!”
I am waiting for you tonight and you are late. Finally she comes. The soft spoken words combined with the excitement of escaping is so enveloping that I want to seal this moment forever. But, however, I cannot control time of you. You are the person who makes me the one who I wish not to be. I am weak, fragile to every word you spool together, and confused of your actions that have me captivated. Don’t waste my time, for I have yet to leave, but continue to be brainwashed. Yes you are the only person who could and does do this to me and I hate you for your special power against me.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Gay Pride- IT'S ON!
LGBTQ members riding on bikes, waving rainbow flags, and chanting clever rhymes that summarize what they are marching for. In these parades we are all marching towards equality, and even though it may be small, we see it as a place to show and be proud of who we are. Whether we are lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transsexual, questioning our sexuality, or even straight we show our true colors to the world.
So this summer show your support or celebrate who you are and attend a pride parade!
Here's a listing of local and foreign pride parades:
http://www.gaycityusa.com/pride.htm
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
No Doubt baby!
Well its official- NO DOUBT IS BACK!
About five years ago No Doubt was selling out large stadiums that were roaring with the lyric's to "Sunday Morning" and "Just A Girl," and their back to try it again.
"We need this sooo badly" Gwen says of their recent tour announcement.
"We've been in a drought for, like, years."
About five years ago No Doubt was selling out large stadiums that were roaring with the lyric's to "Sunday Morning" and "Just A Girl," and their back to try it again.
"We need this sooo badly" Gwen says of their recent tour announcement.
"We've been in a drought for, like, years."
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wingate High & AISES
Engineering a future
On display: Wingate students show their stuff in Arizona AISES competition
On display: Wingate students show their stuff in Arizona AISES competition
Fort Wingate High School students (front, from left) Kyle Kyasyousie, Jerimiah Copi, Kimberly Becenti; (back) Shania Tom, LaToya Johnson, and Shayla Chatto recently took home honors in the Arizona Science and Engineering fair.— © 2009 Gallup Independent / Brian Leddy
Copyright © 2009
Gallup Independent
By Karen Francis
Diné Bureau
WINGATE — Upon arrival at the Wingate High School, a display case congratulates six students who placed in the top four of the Arizona Science and Engineering Fair competition held March 21-24 in Phoenix.
The students, members of the school’s American Indian Science and Engineering Society, traveled to the Arizona State University Polytechnic campus to compete in the regional science fair. Jen Nichols, the AISES sponsor, said there were schools from six or seven states participating.
Though they didn’t know if they would be able to make the trip because of numerous challenges — including decreased funds — they worked on their projects for the past four months.
“We just kept plugging away,” Nichols said.
Jeremiah Copi and Kyle Kyasyousie, both juniors, took third place in the medical and health category for their project researching modern and traditional medicines.
“It was awesome,” Copi said about the trip to Phoenix for the science fair. “We had a lot of fun.”
Kyasyousie added, “We met a lot of cool people.”
For their project, the two hypothesized that most people they surveyed would use traditional medicine, but they found that modern medicine was used by many of those they surveyed.
“In our results, we found that oftentimes both types of medicine are used depending on the severity of the illness,” the report stated.
Shania Tom and Kimberly Becenti, both sophomores, took third place in behavioral and social science category. The two looked at the effects of different types of music on students’ reading and math test scores.
Tom said that they found that music was not necessarily a distraction for students.
About placing at the regional science fair, Becenti said, “We were surprised because there was a lot of other people.”
She said that they chose the topic because they thought it would be a lot of fun.
Sophomores Shayla Chatto and LaToya Johnson took fourth place in microbiology for their study comparing the effects of antiseptic mouthwashes in killing e. coli bacteria.
They found that Listerine provided the best antiseptic benefits among those they tested, which they had predicted in their hypothesis.
The two used ground beef, petri dishes and a control to test the effects of three mouthwashes by monitoring and recording bacterial growth.
Chatto and Johnson said that the field trip was fun and exciting.
Wingate High School AISES Vice President Britney King said she wasn’t surprised that her fellow club members placed at the science fair.
“I’m really proud of them,” she said.
Nichols said that academic field trips are important for students to connect their studies to the real world, meet new people and share new ideas.
“I think they deserve it,” she said.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Our Imagination
Jennifer Beals:
Pride:
No Doubt baby!
"Through our imagination and through exposure to the imagination of those we are constantly in the process of creating ourselves"- Jennifer Beals
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Open Letter
"I received a letter from a young girl who just talked about how much the show had meant to her when she was coming out, and how there was nothing in her community and no one to talk to about who she was, and that the show was her lifeline, in so many ways. That really made me so proud of all of us..." -Jennifer Beals
At first I thought Jennifer was talking about me (wishful thinking), because when Jennifer and Laurel attended an L Word Convention in Blackpool, England I sent them a letter that was put together from the lovely staff of tibette.com (a Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman dedicated website check it out!). Here's an excerpt:
I have been watching The L Word since season three. I am so honored to have found The L Word and to have seen the work you two have both put into this. The L Word, Jennifer, and Laurel all have made a fine print in my life.
Since The L Word, I never knew that a show could have this kind of effect on me. This show has helped me discover who I truly am, it was one of the many factors that helped me come out as a lesbian. I started watching the show from season three. I will never forget the first time I saw it, it was the episode “Lifesize”, and from then on I couldn’t stop watching. When I continued to watch it, I found myself in a place where I felt so comfortable, so at ease, and most of all accepted, it was something that I cannot explain, but I knew it was where I belonged. That’s what The L Word and you guys, Jennifer and Laurel, have given me.
Jennifer, you have basically changed my life. You are such an inspiring woman who has made a huge impact on me. Through your strength, personality, what you have done with The L Word, with the issues that you care and have spoken about, and how you live your life so freely has helped me come out as a lesbian. I cannot express my deepest gratification for what you have given me; strength. Without you, The L Word, Tibette, and my strength to come out as a lesbian wouldn’t have happened. I will forever be thankful of you Jennifer.
Laurel, you are such an amazing actress and you complete Tibette. I could not see Tibette without you- I don’t think I could see The L Word without you. Your talent, your beauty, and all your hard work that you have put into The L Word, made Tibette what it is today. Thank you to the makers of The L Word, to Jennifer Beal’s most of all; who has given me the strength to be who I truly am, and to Laurel, for without you, Tibette would just be a country, but spelled wrong.
Sincerely,
A Tibette Shipper
At first I thought Jennifer was talking about me (wishful thinking), because when Jennifer and Laurel attended an L Word Convention in Blackpool, England I sent them a letter that was put together from the lovely staff of tibette.com (a Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman dedicated website check it out!). Here's an excerpt:
I have been watching The L Word since season three. I am so honored to have found The L Word and to have seen the work you two have both put into this. The L Word, Jennifer, and Laurel all have made a fine print in my life.
Since The L Word, I never knew that a show could have this kind of effect on me. This show has helped me discover who I truly am, it was one of the many factors that helped me come out as a lesbian. I started watching the show from season three. I will never forget the first time I saw it, it was the episode “Lifesize”, and from then on I couldn’t stop watching. When I continued to watch it, I found myself in a place where I felt so comfortable, so at ease, and most of all accepted, it was something that I cannot explain, but I knew it was where I belonged. That’s what The L Word and you guys, Jennifer and Laurel, have given me.
Jennifer, you have basically changed my life. You are such an inspiring woman who has made a huge impact on me. Through your strength, personality, what you have done with The L Word, with the issues that you care and have spoken about, and how you live your life so freely has helped me come out as a lesbian. I cannot express my deepest gratification for what you have given me; strength. Without you, The L Word, Tibette, and my strength to come out as a lesbian wouldn’t have happened. I will forever be thankful of you Jennifer.
Laurel, you are such an amazing actress and you complete Tibette. I could not see Tibette without you- I don’t think I could see The L Word without you. Your talent, your beauty, and all your hard work that you have put into The L Word, made Tibette what it is today. Thank you to the makers of The L Word, to Jennifer Beal’s most of all; who has given me the strength to be who I truly am, and to Laurel, for without you, Tibette would just be a country, but spelled wrong.
Sincerely,
A Tibette Shipper
Thursday, March 26, 2009
To Love
side note: JB said this when George Bush was elected
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Homosexuality as a Mental Illness?
Here is a little project I conducted...
Why is this important?
• Gays are people too and are just like the rest of us
• This affects all gay individuals
• Homosexuality is not a mental illness
The American Psychiatric Association claim
• In 1952 the first edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-I) classified homosexuality as a mental disorder
Why did APA classify homosexuals as mentally unstable?
• They say; mental health professionals and society had miss leading information about homosexuality, since most studies only involved lesbians and gay men in therapy
What convinced them?
• They examined data about gay people who were not in therapy, intense lobbying by gay groups, new scientific information from researchers, and disagreement from the psychiatric ranks,
“Much objective scientific research over the past 35 years shows us that homosexual orientation, in and of itself, is not associated with emotional of social problems”- American Psychiatric Association (APA)
What if someone was troubled by THEIR OWN gayness?
• The label is “sexual-orientation disturbance." This was NOT a diagnosis, says the board of trustees
Controversy
• Controversy rose when they removed the term “homosexuality” as a mental disorder because it went against the standard still used by the World Health Organization's ICD-10, the Chinese Classification, and Diagnostic Criteria of Mental Disorders and The Medical Council of India
• One person who was outraged at the new ruling was New York Psychiatrist Charles Socarides. He had been involved by circulating the petition demanding the unanimous vote.
"It is flying in the face of the one fact we know, which is that male and female are programmed to mate with the opposite sex, and this is the story of 2½ billion years of evolution and any society that hopes to survive."- Charles Socarides
• After they removed “homosexuality” as a mental illness in 1973, they replaced it in 1974 with a category of "gender identity disorder", which is a state of distress about a person’s sexual orientation, which is refering to transgendered or transsexual people. Although “gender identity disorder” is not exactly the same as “homosexual”, it is still assoiciated with the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transsexual) community
What the gay community/supporters had to say
• Gay activists claimed that gender-identity disorder should NOT be assumed to be abnormal, when it is usually an expression of healthy and normal pre-homosexuality
• They also thought the reclassification was much more than a matter of semantics. They feel that the mental-disorder stigma, which is a sign of social unacceptability, is the same reason and has long been used to deny them fair housing, child custody, employment, and immigration rights
• The author of the board's position paper on homosexuality, Psychoanalyst Robert Spitzer, supports their view
"One of the justifications for the denial of civil rights to individuals whose only crime is that their sexual orientation is to members of the same sex."- Robert Spitzer
Another supporter was
• Dr. Judd Marmor, a Los Angeles psychoanalyst and candidate for the American Psychiatric Association presidency, "It is unfair to label homosexuality in and of itself a mental illness, "That is a moral judgment."
The American Psychiatric Association changes it again!
• In 1980 the American Psychiatric Association again removed the category of “gender identity disorder” and replaced it with “ego-dystonic homosexuality.”
Other facts
• LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Trans-sexual
• Homosexuals today still are discriminated against
• Transgender means the person has not changed their reproductive organs
• For twenty-one years the American Psychiatric Association (APA) listed homosexuality as a mental disorder and in 1973 it was finally removed
• Transsexual means that the person has changed their reproductive organs
Where can I find more information?
• http://www.narth.com/docs/symposium.html
• http://www.psych.org/
• http://www.soulforce.org/article/643
“Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.” - By the Board of Trustees, December 1992
Homosexuality as a Mental Disorder?
Why is this important?
• Gays are people too and are just like the rest of us
• This affects all gay individuals
• Homosexuality is not a mental illness
The American Psychiatric Association claim
• In 1952 the first edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-I) classified homosexuality as a mental disorder
Why did APA classify homosexuals as mentally unstable?
• They say; mental health professionals and society had miss leading information about homosexuality, since most studies only involved lesbians and gay men in therapy
What convinced them?
• They examined data about gay people who were not in therapy, intense lobbying by gay groups, new scientific information from researchers, and disagreement from the psychiatric ranks,
“Much objective scientific research over the past 35 years shows us that homosexual orientation, in and of itself, is not associated with emotional of social problems”- American Psychiatric Association (APA)
What if someone was troubled by THEIR OWN gayness?
• The label is “sexual-orientation disturbance." This was NOT a diagnosis, says the board of trustees
Controversy
• Controversy rose when they removed the term “homosexuality” as a mental disorder because it went against the standard still used by the World Health Organization's ICD-10, the Chinese Classification, and Diagnostic Criteria of Mental Disorders and The Medical Council of India
• One person who was outraged at the new ruling was New York Psychiatrist Charles Socarides. He had been involved by circulating the petition demanding the unanimous vote.
"It is flying in the face of the one fact we know, which is that male and female are programmed to mate with the opposite sex, and this is the story of 2½ billion years of evolution and any society that hopes to survive."- Charles Socarides
• After they removed “homosexuality” as a mental illness in 1973, they replaced it in 1974 with a category of "gender identity disorder", which is a state of distress about a person’s sexual orientation, which is refering to transgendered or transsexual people. Although “gender identity disorder” is not exactly the same as “homosexual”, it is still assoiciated with the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transsexual) community
What the gay community/supporters had to say
• Gay activists claimed that gender-identity disorder should NOT be assumed to be abnormal, when it is usually an expression of healthy and normal pre-homosexuality
• They also thought the reclassification was much more than a matter of semantics. They feel that the mental-disorder stigma, which is a sign of social unacceptability, is the same reason and has long been used to deny them fair housing, child custody, employment, and immigration rights
• The author of the board's position paper on homosexuality, Psychoanalyst Robert Spitzer, supports their view
"One of the justifications for the denial of civil rights to individuals whose only crime is that their sexual orientation is to members of the same sex."- Robert Spitzer
Another supporter was
• Dr. Judd Marmor, a Los Angeles psychoanalyst and candidate for the American Psychiatric Association presidency, "It is unfair to label homosexuality in and of itself a mental illness, "That is a moral judgment."
The American Psychiatric Association changes it again!
• In 1980 the American Psychiatric Association again removed the category of “gender identity disorder” and replaced it with “ego-dystonic homosexuality.”
Other facts
• LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Trans-sexual
• Homosexuals today still are discriminated against
• Transgender means the person has not changed their reproductive organs
• For twenty-one years the American Psychiatric Association (APA) listed homosexuality as a mental disorder and in 1973 it was finally removed
• Transsexual means that the person has changed their reproductive organs
Where can I find more information?
• http://www.narth.com/docs/symposium.html
• http://www.psych.org/
• http://www.soulforce.org/article/643
“Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.” - By the Board of Trustees, December 1992
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"ist"
Some little notes from what my teacher said which I find very funny, true, and just fantastic.
a) I had a project to do was inform the students when and why homosexuality was considered a mental illness(see above), and she said:
"Go straight, not forward!"
b) A book project:
"Everyone's going to be 'ist'" i.e. feminist, sexist, ist, ist, ist...
"Words = ideas"
Brilliant!
a) I had a project to do was inform the students when and why homosexuality was considered a mental illness(see above), and she said:
"Go straight, not forward!"
b) A book project:
"Everyone's going to be 'ist'" i.e. feminist, sexist, ist, ist, ist...
"Words = ideas"
Brilliant!
Monday, March 23, 2009
L - O - V - E
"Love is large, love defies limits. People talk about the sanctity of love...love is by definition sacred. Not some love between some people but all love between all people. How can anyone say one person's love is more sacred then another person's? If indeed it is love it is sanctified. If it is indeed live the right to marriage is not questionable." -Jennifer Beals
Sunday, March 22, 2009
KC and Elka
KC and Elka, that's the name of a famous duo that podcast the popular show The L Word and are the dessert of The L Word. They are New Mexicans who have been commenting, pointing out the mistakes of the show, putting a sloppy smile on everyone's face who listens, and enhancing The L Word for four years. They started podcasting since season three of The L Word and have done some "off season podcasts" to tie over the fans of KC and Elka.
When you have listened to one of seventy seven podcasts, called their hot line 206-203-3552, or have become a member on their forum www.theplanetcast.proboards.com, then you are considered a "Kelkian." What is a Kelkian you ask? Well:
a) KC + Elka = Kelka
b) A devoted fan of The L Word
c) A more devoted fan of KC and Elka
So go watch any L Word episode (well any after season 3) and listen to The Planet Podcast with KC and Elka!
http://theplanetcast.blogspot.com/ (everything you need & more + its absolutely FREE)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Our Narratives
Friday, March 20, 2009
College Horizons
College Horizons is a program designed to facilitate the higher education of Native American young people. College Horizons, Inc. is a non-profit organization that supports the higher education of Native American students by providing pre-college (College Horizons) and pre-graduate (Graduate Horizons) summer programs open to Native American, Alaskan Native and Native Hawaiian high school and college students/graduates from across the nation.
College Horizons is a five-day ‘crash course’ in preparing for college. Expert college counselors, teamed up with admission officers, will help students:
* Select suitable colleges to apply to
* Complete winning applications and write memorable essays
* Learn what turns an applicant into an admitted student
* Become a test-prep ‘whiz kid’
* Navigate the financial aid/scholarship jungle
I have applied to College Horizons and will blog my experience, if I'm not accepted into another program that I am also hopeful for.
If you want more information click on the title.
College Horizons is a five-day ‘crash course’ in preparing for college. Expert college counselors, teamed up with admission officers, will help students:
* Select suitable colleges to apply to
* Complete winning applications and write memorable essays
* Learn what turns an applicant into an admitted student
* Become a test-prep ‘whiz kid’
* Navigate the financial aid/scholarship jungle
I have applied to College Horizons and will blog my experience, if I'm not accepted into another program that I am also hopeful for.
If you want more information click on the title.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Confused = Love
I don't know anything about Bob Schneider, nothing at all but I defiantly know about this:
“Love is when two people who care for each other get confused”- Bob Schneider
“Love is when two people who care for each other get confused”- Bob Schneider
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
James and Ernie
"We're serious about being funny!"- either James or Ernie
The comedy duo that has sprung out of the reservation and into closed down theaters (and that's an over statement). They are James and Ernie! If you haven't heard of them or are white or living under a rock, they are two Native American comedians who are one of the first to use what crazy Native American's do and go through. I have seen them perform two times and they haven't let me down yet.
One noteworthy performance is on April 18,09 at the El Morro Theatre in Gallup, NM, they will be taping for their new DVD, go check them out!
Also check out their website (click the link)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
me and JB
"I knew there was something I had to do yesterday. I couldn't remember what it is. I can't figure it out. I know it's a holiday. I know I don't have a meeting. It's very confusing."- Jennifer Beals
-I think that I had to do a blog today
Monday, March 16, 2009
the game I play
Got so sick of this pain,
its a game that I know we will never win,
i run around to numb the pain-so i don't have to think about thinking...
Shadow of my illusion, she is here-
an ache in my chest,
my day is done now,
and I cannot run now,
my blood running cold,
I stand before her,
its all i can do to show her...
its a game that I know we will never win,
i run around to numb the pain-so i don't have to think about thinking...
Shadow of my illusion, she is here-
an ache in my chest,
my day is done now,
and I cannot run now,
my blood running cold,
I stand before her,
its all i can do to show her...
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I Miss the Girls
For me, The L Word has done a lot, I mean A LOT of different things that I cannot even imagine to summarize up, but I will try to tell you what The L Word has done for me, and maybe it will be true for you as well. But know this; however many words, expressions, or pictures I may show to try to explain The L Word, their will never be enough. Because you have to watch it for yourself to experience the struggles, emotions, and success that these women amazingly portray. (please don't let my corniness alienate you from watching, click on title to watch some videos!)
note: in the future I will try to explain what The L Word has meant to me
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Epiphany
This is a short story that I wrote and entered in my school's short story contest, and won! yaay! It is about 2 years old, but this is one of my favorite stories, so enjoy!
Epiphany
by B
Help! Help! A woman’s voice screamed. She heard those words as she felt something wet sliding down her scalp. She touched her head with her hand to see what it was, it was something slimy and it was coming down her head fast, it was red and was definably blood. She didn’t have enough time to express her shock because she suddenly started to feel faint and very weak; she collapsed in the woman’s arms.
“She may not make it through surgery”, a muffled mans voice shouted. “But, but doctor, she’s going to be alright isn’t she?”
“Wake up Chris, hey…wake up Chris”, a soft, sweet sounding voice came lingering in Chris’s ear. “Wake up honey, it’s twelve in the afternoon”, the same woman’s voice, now in a tone where it draws out all the words in a playful way, came wondering into her ear. She suddenly jumped up and said “Where am I?! Am I still in the hospital?” “No, no honey, you have been home for about one week recovering from your accident… there was a silent pause. “Are you feeling ok?” the woman said with a concerned and questioned expression. Chris did not reply back, for she didn’t need to. Something then clicked in her mind; if I automatically feel so relaxed with this woman than I couldn’t possibly be in any harm’s way, and that was the truth. Chris suddenly felt very comfortable where she was and found comfort in the woman that was laying so tenderly close to her. Chris thought nothing of how and why she was there, all she knew was that she felt full security with this woman and emanating love. She held that woman that made her sense those feelings, she did not have a care in the world, because she knew she loved that woman and that woman loved her back. As the days progressed, so did her love and appreciation of her. The days were like numerous dreams; everyday she spent with that woman was like a magnificent and amazing journey that she did not want to ever end. She tried to put words together to describe the degree of which was mind-blowing and out of this world love and affection, but as anyone who was unconditionally in love, she could not. The thing that only came half way to the immense wonderful feeling she felt and her relationship with this woman, who often seemed as a dream, was indeed a dream. It was a dream that can be imagined as when you naturally wake up feeling rested and peaceful, as if an angel spent the whole night nurturing your sleep. It felt like that every morning she woke up in those arms of a woman identified, angel. Nothing would ever part her and this other woman.
“Oh my god, she’s waking up!” a gentle woman’s voice said. Her eyes parted, barely opening as if she had been slumbering. Two people came rushing to her bedside. They grabbed her hand very tight. One was a man and the other was an older woman. “Who are you” Chris said as she looked at the older woman, she looked at the man “Who are you?” The older woman went into tears, “I am your mother, you were in a coma, and, and… you have been out for about a month”. Chris thought for a minute or two. “Ok, ok, but who is he and what is he doing here?” The older woman was still in tears as she blurted out, “This is your husband.” This was poison to Chris’s ears, she didn’t know what to think, she didn’t know what to do, or even how to act, she was so repulsed by the fact that she was married to a man. It came to her in an epiphany what her life once was. The ceremony, the kiss, the man that she married, she wanted to throw up, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, she wanted to hit him over the head with the same shovel that she will use to bury him with. “I want a divorce,” Chris said without a slight doubt in her mind. The two people that occupied the room went nuts, which resulted in vulgar language and confused expressions. Chris did not care what they had to say, she shut them out. Chris did not care about their blabbering, she did not even care who she was or how in love she was with that man, all she cared about was that she knew her truth, she knew who she was compassionate with and that man was the total opposite of what gender she cared for. She thought to herself, yeah that woman and our experiences were just dreams, but if it were not true then why did I feel completely devoted and unconditionally in love with her, not just her, but a woman. Chris’s thoughts are to some people outrageous and completely wrong, but your first love will always be your first, and your last, whether it’s a man or in Chris’s case, a woman.
Epiphany
by B
“She may not make it through surgery”, a muffled mans voice shouted. “But, but doctor, she’s going to be alright isn’t she?”
“Wake up Chris, hey…wake up Chris”, a soft, sweet sounding voice came lingering in Chris’s ear. “Wake up honey, it’s twelve in the afternoon”, the same woman’s voice, now in a tone where it draws out all the words in a playful way, came wondering into her ear. She suddenly jumped up and said “Where am I?! Am I still in the hospital?” “No, no honey, you have been home for about one week recovering from your accident… there was a silent pause. “Are you feeling ok?” the woman said with a concerned and questioned expression. Chris did not reply back, for she didn’t need to. Something then clicked in her mind; if I automatically feel so relaxed with this woman than I couldn’t possibly be in any harm’s way, and that was the truth. Chris suddenly felt very comfortable where she was and found comfort in the woman that was laying so tenderly close to her. Chris thought nothing of how and why she was there, all she knew was that she felt full security with this woman and emanating love. She held that woman that made her sense those feelings, she did not have a care in the world, because she knew she loved that woman and that woman loved her back. As the days progressed, so did her love and appreciation of her. The days were like numerous dreams; everyday she spent with that woman was like a magnificent and amazing journey that she did not want to ever end. She tried to put words together to describe the degree of which was mind-blowing and out of this world love and affection, but as anyone who was unconditionally in love, she could not. The thing that only came half way to the immense wonderful feeling she felt and her relationship with this woman, who often seemed as a dream, was indeed a dream. It was a dream that can be imagined as when you naturally wake up feeling rested and peaceful, as if an angel spent the whole night nurturing your sleep. It felt like that every morning she woke up in those arms of a woman identified, angel. Nothing would ever part her and this other woman.
“Oh my god, she’s waking up!” a gentle woman’s voice said. Her eyes parted, barely opening as if she had been slumbering. Two people came rushing to her bedside. They grabbed her hand very tight. One was a man and the other was an older woman. “Who are you” Chris said as she looked at the older woman, she looked at the man “Who are you?” The older woman went into tears, “I am your mother, you were in a coma, and, and… you have been out for about a month”. Chris thought for a minute or two. “Ok, ok, but who is he and what is he doing here?” The older woman was still in tears as she blurted out, “This is your husband.” This was poison to Chris’s ears, she didn’t know what to think, she didn’t know what to do, or even how to act, she was so repulsed by the fact that she was married to a man. It came to her in an epiphany what her life once was. The ceremony, the kiss, the man that she married, she wanted to throw up, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, she wanted to hit him over the head with the same shovel that she will use to bury him with. “I want a divorce,” Chris said without a slight doubt in her mind. The two people that occupied the room went nuts, which resulted in vulgar language and confused expressions. Chris did not care what they had to say, she shut them out. Chris did not care about their blabbering, she did not even care who she was or how in love she was with that man, all she cared about was that she knew her truth, she knew who she was compassionate with and that man was the total opposite of what gender she cared for. She thought to herself, yeah that woman and our experiences were just dreams, but if it were not true then why did I feel completely devoted and unconditionally in love with her, not just her, but a woman. Chris’s thoughts are to some people outrageous and completely wrong, but your first love will always be your first, and your last, whether it’s a man or in Chris’s case, a woman.
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